Duality

Every up has a down, just like every day has a night. Good is only defined in the presence of evil; thanks to Raavan, we recognize who Ram is. Every North Pole needs a southern counterpart to fulfill and ‘complete’ it. Even the nature around us silently resonates the same theory. There are plants and there are animals. There is male and there is female. Moreover, humans find it hard to identify themselves on their own. It’s always the reference, the other pole of a relation that defines them. A husband of a wife, a father of a child, an employee of a company and a resident of a house. An author has a book to define him; a sportsman has a game and a thief has a policeman (law) after him. Without Yin, there is no yang!


It helps to identify (but not understand) the other duals around us. Why a picture always has a negative and a positive, a language always consists of letters and numbers, numbers are of 2 kinds: odd or even. There’s body and soul; there’s mind and matter. Pain is always followed by joy, and birth only finds meaning in death. It’s this dual nature of things all around us that define our world, on land and water, of life and death, fun and sorrow, peace and chaos. Probably that’s why, every rainy day has a bright sunny one to follow and every beginning has an end to meet.

One.

One week, one call, one message, one mail, one meeting, a union, one birthday, a gift, one photograph, one coffee, a togetherness, a friend, a hug, a festival, one year, one you, one me, a remembrance, a memory, one laughter, a tear, one realization, a punishment, a prayer, a confession, a choice, a promise, a persuasion, a distance, a longing, one question, an answer, a song, a silence, a yesterday, a tomorrow, one crossing, an insomnia, a dilemma, a decision, a wish, a disappointment, a plan, one step, an evening, one life. One.

Burden of Benevolence

How often does it happen that you start afearing the goodness in the people around you? You can’t take how good they can be; how they care for you all the time. Even when you don’t deserve to be treated the way they deal with you. Even when you know you haven’t been at the best of your behaviours; haven’t complied with all your duties that a relationship requires of you; worse: you haven’t even been a good friend.  And still, when you look at them, all you see is a sense of oblige in them, a sense of care for you and a prayer of your own well-being.

There are also times, when you wish that they were not to be so good to you. You know that they are doing all that is good for you but you want it to be otherwise. They like to bring a completeness in your life and provide a sense of belonging and hence security to the new paths of a revamped life you are treading into. However, you wish not to be looked after so much, not to be nurtured and watched over all the time; not to be comforted by all the pleasures that they are constantly trying to offer you. Because sometimes, you don’t want what seems to be the best option for you; sometimes, it’s more fun than the righteousness of life that matters; sometimes, you don’t need the discipline of life as much as the randomness of it. 

Timelessness!

I dunno where all the time is running away??? And I have like endless amount of work!! :( 

there's fyp.. the stupid application is not working!!

software engineering... C man, I'm not a java student! :P

database systems... SQL + webratio + jdbc + jdk + XXXXXX = ???? 

HR project... Gaadi bula rahi hai, 'Citi' baja rahi hai.. 

job applications.. indefinitely infinite!! are they even hiring?

Dunno where to start, which meetin to attend or which project to work on.. And someone reminded me today that exams are just a month away... SOS!!!

Lesson for the Day!

Learn to hear No!

Seldom we are told to learn to say No! Yes, I always used to say Yes to whatever I was asked to do and things didn't go very well with that. I have learnt to say No - may be the hard way, but I believe it's worth it. What I still have to learn is to be prepared to be ignored; to be left out; to be answered with an obtuse No! on the face. Apart from teaching me to accept whatever is thrown at me, it'll also help me to subjugate my expectations from people. 

Learning to say no may be important to live, but learning to hear it might be crucial to even survive!

Pichhle Saat Dino Mein Maine Khoya

Meri Laundry Ka Ek Bill, Ek Aadhi Padi Novel...
Ek Ladki Ka Phone Number, Mere Kaam Ka Ek Paper...
Mere Taash Se Heart Ka King, Mera Ek Chandi Ka Ring...
Pichhle Saat Dino Mein Maine Khoya
Kabhi Khud Pe Hansa Main Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Roya

And just like this song, the movie 'Rock On' shows how many things we lose everyday. It's only very late (sometimes too late!) that we realize how we lost it and how important it was in our life. Sometimes, all of a sudden you know that you've just lost someone. Those emotionally stressed moments seem to be very painful. But more depressing are the times when you are in the process of losing a person. You know that this person has been a part of your life and at the same time you see him/her drifting away. It's the helplessness that makes this ordeal even more painful.

But life is more complicated than you ever know. You never know how it can slither and throw surprises in the name of broken relations again at your face. Sometimes these experiences are good; more often bad. But all we need to do is accept them as life's new lessons and move along with them. These are the tests life inflicts upon us and it's upto us to live upto our own estimation of our capabilities. 

Life is full of complexities. You just have to not allow them to take over you! 

Lesson for the Day!

It's not always your mistake!

We often (unintentionally) assume that the world is centred around us but it's not. Just like so many things (including people) affect us, so are other people affected. And I am not the only reason of anything (or everything) going wrong with me or the people around. Was it lack of confidence or too much self-consciousness, I'm yet to figure out but at least I've stopped finding myself guilty of anything and everything. 

Long Time No See

I know I've been away from blogging for a long time now. Can't say longest because I'm not sure how long this session of blogging will last. I was thinking of getting back to blogging for quite some time though but just couldn't think of anything to start with. Finally thought of one of the reasons for why I wanted to get back to blogging. 

Year 2008 has been really different for me in a lot of ways. I have seen a new face of the world as well as of myself. I have come to know more about myself. And that's what I believe life is all about - to look towards one reactions (and how they change with time) as life throws another problem at your face. 

Okay, coming back to the main topic, I've been doing a lot of things which I used to do some time ago but had left in between; thanks to the Industrial Attachment I did for good 6 months. It was this realization of life taking a U-turn that made me think of getting back to this website. Some of the things that I've been enjoying doing again after this gap are - 

Meeting old friends - Friends who had been away or I haven't been in touch with for a long time.
Attending classes - Nearly after 9 months.
Trying to keep my table clean - I remember how particular I was of keeping it clean in my first year of university.
Not caring about anything more than myself - First rule of life: To love others, learn to love thyself!
Downloading and sending songs to people - Songs that I love.. People who believe in my choice of music.
Reading Harry Potter again - Just found nothing else more interesting than the scar-ed boy!
Trying to get back to Facebook and Orkut - Finally fed up of people's complaints of not replying to their messgaes on these websites.

Apart from these things, after blogging, there's my guitar to give some time to. Haven't even tuned it for 6 months now. And friday night is a plan to go for a night-out with friends at ECP (East Coast Park). So looking forward to enjoy these deja-vu experiences and hoping to keep finding stuff to blog about!

Cheers!

Reflection or Illusion?

Two long years of travelling between India and Singapore and where have I reached? I wonder why the feeling of patriotism and the sense of pride towards India took over me only after going to Singapore. I guess (also most-rightly said) we realize the actual worth of anything only after losing it. But have I really lost India? Or am I losing it in pieces?

There are times in Singapore when I come across Indian books, literature, culture and most influencingly the magnificent pictures of our innumerable national heritages. Several of my friends can act as witnesses to my hyper level of excitement during these moments. How I feel rejoiced if I can find something Indian on the streets, mention about India in SS modules or at the museum, about Subhas Chandra Bose's presence in Singapore even before independence, the president of Singapore being of an Indian origin and most importantly, Singapura - the name itself derived from Hindi. These things have always made me realize how much I love India and miss it during my time in Singapore.

But this time in India, a nascent feeling has surrounded me. I've started experiencing a sense of pride in being a part of Singapore - of this tiny state where I've spent merely 6.4% of my whole life (till date i.e.) Comes a news referring to what's new (or old) about Singapore and I find myself reading through the whole article as if trying to experience the comforts of my second home once again. All the more, I'll start talking about the different places I've been to and what's good (and rarely about what's bad) at certain places to whoever is sitting beside me.

It is turning out to be a total reciprocation of the feelings I have for India when in Singapore. When in India, I've always missed Singapore - the university, my friends, the climate, the easy transportation and the friendly and helpful nature of (most) people. But that doesn't mean that I've started looking down upon India. The rich culture of my country has always fascinated me and will continue to do so.

But I fear. I fear of being torn apart between these two nations. One, which gave me birth and helped me grow into what I am today and the second that is supporting me to build myself, a bright and reassuring future. Roughly speaking, I've been staying out of India for 2 years now but to be precise, I've just spent 494 days in Singapore. And I'm already having a feeling of being shared by the 2 countries. How can Singapore imprint an impression on me so deep in so less time that I've started looking at it the same way I look at India when overseas?

I wonder if it's a feeling of my acceptance of Singapore (and vice versa) or am I just being fascinated by a "developed" nation where there is absolutely nothing in the name of culture or natural beauty but artificially-lined trees, unnatural beaches and a working environment so alarmingly comfortable that it can easily make a jellyfish of a person. I am yet to discover what really is in my heart for this "City of Choices". Does it really takes India's place when I'm already here or is it just an illusioned reflection I'm looking at?