Burden of Benevolence

How often does it happen that you start afearing the goodness in the people around you? You can’t take how good they can be; how they care for you all the time. Even when you don’t deserve to be treated the way they deal with you. Even when you know you haven’t been at the best of your behaviours; haven’t complied with all your duties that a relationship requires of you; worse: you haven’t even been a good friend.  And still, when you look at them, all you see is a sense of oblige in them, a sense of care for you and a prayer of your own well-being.

There are also times, when you wish that they were not to be so good to you. You know that they are doing all that is good for you but you want it to be otherwise. They like to bring a completeness in your life and provide a sense of belonging and hence security to the new paths of a revamped life you are treading into. However, you wish not to be looked after so much, not to be nurtured and watched over all the time; not to be comforted by all the pleasures that they are constantly trying to offer you. Because sometimes, you don’t want what seems to be the best option for you; sometimes, it’s more fun than the righteousness of life that matters; sometimes, you don’t need the discipline of life as much as the randomness of it.